Ya'!! Are Gonna Make Me...

Hey, remember when I said there would maybe be a cool album that I made that came out this year? Well, plans for it kind of coalesced this weekend.

No details to come until it's sprung upon you. But it seems like it'll be pretty good.

The recording process can be so strange. You can be stuck for so long, but once you snag it it just rolls. That's what happened this weekend for the record in question.

Gonna be fun dudes and females.

I Don't Think You Are Ready for This Th!ng

*EDIT* Links work now!

Holy face on the ground of Mars (I guess they just call it mars, like our earth), I almost forgot about this update.

Just shows to go you how sincerely Tarzan Grotrian, clown prince cum laude of Science and Technology is missed around these parts, both spiritually and emotionally.

Anyway, enough glumdrum. Let's get on with Grausday. Why? Graham + Vault = Grault, and Grault + Tuesday equals Tuesday. Seems simple enough.

I've decided that one song may not be enough. I think the internet's tubes-and-bags-of-data infrastructure is, not unlike a box of ditalini pasta, something that can accomodate a healthy outsending of information (in this case, tomato sauce). And thus, two-song Grausday is born.

Today finds two lovely choices, one of which WILL be featured in the FORTHCOMING Kleenex Girl Wonder box set (whose final title and contents will become clear in the forthcoming months), and one of which WON'T. Actually maybe it will, I gotta have Tarzan finalize those contents... fuck!

Anyway, song one is a throwaway little song that I never really finished, then kind of half-finished to go on the "Why I Write Such Good Songs" EP. I was in college, and I remember wanting to write lyrics like Gertrude Stein for some reason and this is one of the abortive fruits of that labor of love. Let us praise its memory. It's actually kind of a good song, although the drum "programming" is a little clumsy.

The second is a cover version of a song that I have played live on occasion. This recorded version is, by my current standards, less than adequate, but then those are evolving standards for you. I will obscure the title (for imaginary legal reasons) but it might help if I say the original is sung by a lady now sadly departed from this Earth (like Mars) and produced by a guy who I idolized for a long time, and still kind of do, but who is about to embarass the shit out of himself with a solo album (I think it actually came out today).

Enjoy! Don't pass around, send your friends here! In order to buy stuff!

Kleenex Girl Wonder - Unreleased
Graham Smith - Less Than a Man

Tons of Updates!

Ha, I got you--I mean to say, there will be lots of updates moving forward. What can I tell you that you don't already know?

November Brain is done. I wish I could just sell people MP3's. If you can think of a way I can do this and you would like a copy just e-mail Smervice at Gmail.

You can send basically any question there too, it's alright.

Lovely Sunday. I'm working on the much-not-discussed SECRET ALBUM which will hopefully still come out at some point in 2007. This album will cause quite a stir, but it may be godawful. Rest assured it will sound like something familiar.

I have about half of it written. It has a large number of songs. A lot of them might end up being shorter than usual. Almost all of them are simpler than usual (at least usual as of late).

Today I hope to record demos for about half of them.

I am also picking up work on Yes Boss, which should also hopefully see release this year. It's been a long path, so a few more months don't really matter. The songs are great.

I've grown unsick of them, mostly because of how great Thayer, Ryan and Mike's contributions are. The songs themselves I'm still basically sick of, but not sick enough to like vomit sick; I'm ready to get my arms dirty again.

I've changed my posting name to something more obscure to deflect the e-paparazzi and the Sun Army. Goodbye Tarzan, sweet unstable primordial Prince of the Internet.

Tons of Updates!

Gonna hop in that shower about now. Then, do the things I talked about in the future.

Lots of Updates

So yeah, I just got some food, eatin' some Bullseyes.

Raw Tracks 4 U!

Hai guise, I uploaded some raw trax for you to listen to.

Now a little disclaimer: these are live circuit bent SK-1 (and, in one case, circuit bent Yamaha DD-9) performances.

They are, sadly, unrecreatable. They are also somewhat difficult to listen to, but I go crazy for this shit, so FYI. You might not really like it, and these are not ever going to be released.

An Italian's songs will be based off of samples of stuff like this. It will be a lot more repetitive and melodic, though.

Enjoy!

This Dork is a Porn Ring
Pissed Horse Gets a Forking
Michael Dorn at Storm King

नेव होम देवनगरी!

Oh shit, looks like I turned some transliteration setting on and now I can't read my postings' titles any more.

Hopefully I don't make native Hindi-speakers cry; it is my sincere desire to make them laugh and love.

Welcome to the new home of the !temwire, at cultureheart.com. Those of you who totally miss the pumping heart Flash animation, let me know and I'll hook u up with a raw SWF.

To celebrate this momentous move, I am inaugurating a tradition that will be somewhat recurrent. You should be able to get music for free from this site, in addition to things that are for sale. Right? No?

So, without further ado, here's the first one--a chestnut from KGW days past.

Road to San Francisco, by Kleenex Girl Wonder

Feel free to pass around. I will definitely post a new track (along with an update) every Tuesday, so set/change your bookmarks.

I will be changing the "Edit Me" links to include all of the wond'rous things I have for sale via these amazing methods.

Until then, holler towards me, but not on me. Cheece!

Massive Updates For Those Who Are Sti!! Listening

Hey everybody, it's Graham for real.

Hopefully some people will actually continue to contribute (or begin to contribute) to this wonderful machine but until then I will be providing you with updates.

This will also become the home page of Culture Heart in short order so keep an eye out for that. I will then use this method to advertise products which are for sale.

I know I still have some outstanding orders--for some outstanding people. I am really sorry about delays, I think these should be minimized in the future. However as always I will continue to hook you up with cool free bonuses if orders are late.

So, today is an auspicious day to announce forthcoming projects--why? Why, because it's 10th-Anniversary-of-Biggie's-Murder's Eve, of course! The only day in the universe where everybody is required to come together as one gigantic entity in the name of commerce.

So if you were paying attention before, you may recall me making a boast that I would release 6 albums in 2007.

I still think that will probably be true. But, as I missed the official deadline for the first of them, I'm not necessarily going to stick to that promise.

But the first of these albums will be shortly forthcoming.

Entitled "November Brain," it will consist of 16 songs, all of which were recorded (totally) and written (mostly) in November of 2006. They appear in the CMYK box set, but this is a more portable format.

I will be selling physical CD's with a deluxe poster and packaging for $20 through this site, and the music will also be selling on various well-known digital music sites within a couple of months. CD's will be available for order at the beginning of next month.

After that, there will be the debut of a new band I decided to start called An Italian--you can think of it like 1 (one) Italian person, or like "Italian Year" as translated from a language which doesn't exist as far as I know.

The first album is called "Sex Tape." I'm not sure exactly how it will sound yet. This is in early spring.

After that, it gets hazy.

However, there will be at least one really explosively awesome album beyond that. Maybe 2.

There will also be a unique album that will be unlike any others I've ever done.

There will most likely be a second An Italian album this year as well.

Finally, there will be an instrumental album, under the alias The First Dude Who Copped the 850 in '89 and Drove It Up to 55th.

That's 7 for those of you who are counting. So we'll see. I do have a real job you know.

That's all for now. Feel free to e-mail me with questions.